Persuasive language in expository writing or Spoken Interaction (1)

How do you chalk up your marks for writing and speaking? Yes, nothing beats the accuracy of your sentences. However, it is also how you write or speak, right down to your choice of sentence utterance and your choice of words.

I am going to demonstrate using a paragraph that elaborates on how if mothers were to work, their children will be negatively affected.

(1)   It is perplexing, indeed, that so many mothers are working away from home, at the detriment of their own children.

(2)   It is baffling, indeed, that so many mothers are working away from home, at the detriment of their own children.

(3)   It is disconcerting, indeed, that so many mothers are working away from home, at the detriment of their own children.

(4)   It is of paramount importance that mothers stay at home to be with their young children.

(5)   It is of utmost importance that mothers stay at home to be with their young children.

(6)   Although one might argue that caregivers can also care for the children while mothers are away at work in the day, it is an uncontested fact (undeniable) that young children do need to feel their mothers’ presence all the time.

(7)   The role of the mother not just as the person who takes care of all of her children’s needs but one who also makes them feel secure and wanted cannot be underestimated.

(8)   Researchers who study early childhood development have all unanimously agreed that if the mother stays at home for the first five years of a child’s life, the child has a 67% greater chance of turning out to be a confident and secure adult.

(9)   Therefore, need I stress why it is such a perplexing fact that a whopping 62% of the world’s mothers are working full-time?

(10)  Yes, I am cognizant (aware) of the fact that some families need both parents to work, but I beg to differ that this should even be a reason to begin with. Couples should re-assess their financial situation as well as their commitment in starting a family before conceiving because the ramification (consequence) of the mother working and not being with the child is dire (serious).

There are 15 examples of persuasive language here. Can you do the same by using
-at least 7 phrases (for the LA)
-at least 10 phrases (for the HA)

You are to elaborate on the point that the presence of a large number of elderly people has caused a financial strain on families.
Please remember that while this exercise serves to build up on your persuasive language vocabulary, nothing still beats accuracy in your tenses, SVA and sentence structure. Happy learning! :))